Talking to a Stranger

Put Aside the Old Adage

With our childhood days behind us, it’s time to put aside an earlier message, “Don’t talk to strangers.” I’m hoping you are already aware that the week of November 18-25 is designated as Talk To A Stranger Week. But just in case you haven’t heard about it, hopefully, I can help you get up to speed. The week is intended to tout the positive advantages of reaching out to others and encouraging Canadians to try to engage with others. Something as simple as saying good morning, smiling, or striking up a conversation with someone unknown to us, displays trust. These friendly gestures have been correlated to individual well-being, thereby making a difference in our daily life and the lives of other people.

A 2021 Canadian Social Connection Survey highlighted that those who said they talked to a stranger just once a week were up to three times happier than those who didn’t speak to strangers. While this finding may seem unbelievable to some, other research suggests that only 20% of Canadians talk to strangers each day and it is nearly 100% of the time that both parties are happy that the exchange happened.  

Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, a Canadian researcher at the University of Sussex, suggests that a simple chat with a stranger can:​ improve well-being, make us happier, increase a sense of connection and improve levels of trust. Her research also indicates that practicing conversations with strangers for at least a week can reduce the fear of rejection and boost confidence!

For our well-being and that of others - let’s initiate reaching out to others. With the world as it is, don’t we all want a boost of confidence and a greater sense of belonging?

-Sister Nancy Wales, CSJ

IMAGES: Lina Trochez @lmtrochezz | Egor Litvinov @litvinov /Unsplash

An Anniversary Celebration in Le Puy

SISTER MARY DIESBOURG SHARES HER JOURNEY TO FRANCE

October 17, 2024 was the 20th Anniversary Celebration of the International Centre-St. Joseph in Le Puy, France. 

One of the magic moments that stands out for me, and remains in my recurring memories, is our first view of Le Puy as we approached the town on route 88, in the waning sunlight of early evening. By that time, we had been awake for about 32 hours or more and were struggling to keep our heads up and our eyes open.  Yet, as we saw the outline of the Le Puy skyline, we all gasped and drew in our breath, deeply moved by the gently rolling hills of that ancient volcanic area, with the statue of Notre Dame de France piercing the evening sky.  It was beautiful, and felt like a welcome, a homecoming. 

Sisters Josette, Sheila, and Mary

Sister Josette, of the Erie, Pennsylvania Congregation, Sister Sheila of the Philadelphia SSJ’s, and myself, (pictured above), had agreed to meet in the Lyon airport, so we could share a taxi for the 2-hour drive from there to Le Puy.  While we had driven those roads many times during our years at the Centre, at this stage in our lives we were reluctant to trust ourselves to renting a vehicle, and navigating the roads and traffic, which we were sure had changed significantly since our departure, 20 years ago.  That was a wise choice. 

The second moment was that after our arrival at the Ibis Hotel, just down the street from the Centre, we got checked in, dropped our luggage in our rooms, and went to the dining room for a quick bite of supper before heading straight for bed and a good long sleep.  However, much to our surprise, we had just placed our orders, when Olga, from the Centre arrived and announced: “You can’t eat  here.  We are all waiting for you at the Centre. We have supper for you there.  Come with me”.  After quick apologies to the dining room staff, we made our exit somewhat reluctantly, not really feeling ready to meet the Board members at the Centre and linger over a meal!  Olga whisked us away, and when we arrived at the Centre, we were welcomed with applause, cheers and much ado.  To say we were surprised, is an understatement.  Never in our years at the Centre, had we received such accolades!  We were abashed, touched and deeply moved. We quickly saw that as the “first team”, we had acquired a kind of aura that was new to us, and certainly embarrassing.  There followed a lovely dinner, with lots of conversation and sharing of memories.  

When, a few hours later, we were taken back to the hotel, it was with new energy, deeply touched hearts, and gratitude for all that had been, and for all that was yet to be in these next few days. 

The following day was a free day for us in Le Puy.  The Board was involved in their meeting, and the celebration day was to be the 17th.  So, free for the day, we set out to walk up to the Cathedral.  The many stairs took us a while to navigate, necessitating many stops for breath, but we got there, and once again experienced the awe-inspiring beauty of that ancient church.  There we prayed before the Black Madonna, and paused at the Healing Stone, entrusting to Notre Dame du Puy all the intentions that we had been entrusted with.  We lit candles and put intentions onto the list for the pilgrims setting out from there on the Camino.  It was precious time and recalled to us the millions of pilgrims who travel there each year, hoping to start out on a path of deeper discovery in their lives. 

From the Cathedral, we went to Martine’s lace shop. We first met Martine in the fall of 2004, shortly after we first arrived.  Preparing to have our first program that summer, we wanted to ask a lace maker to make lace in the background, while we told the story of our early Sisters making lace to support themselves and teaching women to make lace to help keep themselves and their families out of poverty.  I had found Martine outside her shop one day, quietly making lace, and asked her if she would be willing to make lace for us while we told the story of our Congregations’ beginnings.  She most graciously agreed, telling us that although she had known the local Sisters from her childhood, she had no idea we had been lace-makers too.  So began a long and beautiful friendship with us and with all the Sisters, Associates, and coworkers who visited Le Puy afterwards.   

As we entered her shop this time, Martine was moved to tears seeing us again and was deeply touched by our gift to her of a beautiful wall-hanging, hand-stitched by Sister Pat McKeon, and featuring an Inuk on a sled, lit by the midnight sun. We offered it to her, in gratitude for her for her great hospitality to our many Canadian Sisters, Associates, and co-workers who had visited her shop. Martine wept at the beauty of the hanging, its intricate stitch work, and its significance, coming from Canada.  She plans to hang it in her bedroom. 

The celebration itself was well documented, with its speeches, tributes, prayer service and elegant luncheon.  The Board had done much to ensure a lovely celebration, and Olga and Eluiza overlooked no detail in the planning.  For me, the highlights were the moments of reconnecting, with neighbours, former Board members, many of whom had been extremely helpful to us in our first days and years in Le Puy.  Those threads of connection remain strong, including those with some of the Sisters, and neighbours who are no longer with us.  We are still one. 

Of the speeches that were given, the theme that reached out to me was when Father Chamaly, former pastor of Les Carmes, the parish we attended, spoke of how our presence, the Centre, and its many international guests had widened the vision of the parishioners, helping them to envision and experience a bigger world.  The Mayor of Aiguilhe and the delegate of the Bishop also spoke of the broader vision brought to the tiny town of Le Puy by our presence and that of our global programs. That felt like something worthwhile to have been about. 

Globally, we are all experiencing the declining numbers of Religious and the increasing role of lay persons in all aspects of what we saw as “our mission”.  Truth be told, the mission is that of Jesus, “that all may be one”: love of God, love of neighbour without distinction.  This is at the heart of the Gospel, and so not intended as our property at all.  From the beginning, Father Medaille saw our collaboration with “all persons of good will” as essential to our mission and our existence.  The woman protestant minister, a Biblical scholar, who spoke to the Global Coordinating Group about the Eucharistic Letter, spoke of self-emptying, or anéantissement, as really being, “making room for the other”, not taking up all the room and attention for yourself.  It seems to me that our call at this moment in time is to make room for the laity, to let them take on responsibility for much of what we have called our mission.   

Will the Centre survive into the future?  We do not know.  As we interacted with our neighbours, with Martine, with the parishioners, with Board members and even the staff of the hotel where we stayed, I could not help thinking that if there is to be a future for Centre International St. Joseph, we need to “make room for the other” and take up less room for ourselves. 

-Sister Mary Diesbourg, CSJ

World Kindness Day

Recently my nephew was heading out to work only to find his truck wouldn’t start; a frustrating way to start the day. To no avail, CAA tried to boost the battery so they had to send for a tow truck. While he was waiting for the tow truck multiple people stopped to offer help. One young man pulled over and with great enthusiasm ran over with his charger at the ready. My nephew’s face broke into a broad smile.

Why am I telling you this? Well today is World Kindness Day. Who knew there was such a thing? Isn’t every day a day to be kind? Of course that’s true. As I reflected further It occurred to me that this day presents a specific opportunity to celebrate and watch for the kindnesses around us every day. In this world of turmoil there are far too many opportunities to see the violence around us. Let’s intentionally watch for the kind actions of others today, reminisce on some of those kindnesses we have received and pat yourself on the back for those you have offered.

What started out as a frustrating morning for my nephew turned into a day of gratitude and joy due to the kindness of strangers. Let’s offer that same opportunity to transform someone’s day just by being kind.

-Maureen Condon, CSJ Associate

Holding Different Perspectives - A Bright Hope for our Future

A story about my granddaughter Meredith.

Mer and I were in the car together coming home from her school day. She noticed a long stationary train with different box cars, most with some form of noticeable graffiti on the side of the cars. Mer shared the following:

“You know the people who take care of the train cars must be disappointed and frustrated because there is SO much graffiti. I can understand how people have a need to express themselves creatively and hope to have their work seen by others, but it makes a lot of work for someone else.”

Image: Debby Hudson@hudsoncrafted/ Unsplash

I was momentarily speechless as she went on to wonder out loud how you would remove graffiti. Mer had just turned 9 years old. In a world often divided and polarized, Mer seems to have an appreciation of and a willingness to hold, the different perspectives and needs within the same situation.

My first response to Mer was, “You know, not many adults today could hold and express both of those viewpoints.”

Mer and many of the youth today give me hope for a brighter future for everyone and everything.

-Sandy Bell-Cameron, CSJ Associate

Reflecting on Murray Sinclair

At the airport in Toronto I had just finished reading Murray Sinclair’s recently published book, Who We Are about his life and his work. Ten minutes after closing the book, I received an email saying that he had died.

My name is Mizanay Gheezhik, which literally means, “one who speaks of pictures in the sky.” It’s about philosophizing. It’s about reading, not paper, not words, but reading what’s going on around me and understanding that and then explaining it to the people.

That’s why I’ve done the work that I’ve done over the years, because that’s my name.

That was the role that I was given when I was created and when I was born.” (Pg. 229)

And there it is. In his own words. Whether it was as the first Indigenous judge in Manitoba, Chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, or as Senator in the government, Murray was true to his calling. This role he was given when he was created allowed him to listen deeply to the many individual voices during the Truth and Reconciliation process. It enabled those who shared their stories to reclaim parts of who they really were before the systemic violence of residential schools extinguished a light of their identity.

His life was not easy. His “speaking of pictures in the sky” called all of us Canadians to uncover and face the tragic story of our own history. And yet, he did more than that. His “pictures in the sky” took form in the 94 calls to action in the Truth and Reconciliation Report which continues to point us in the direction of whole-making relationships in our country.

What stays with me most, however, is his love of family and the dialogues he shares in the book with his children and grandchildren. As he says, his real desire for his children and grandchildren - and all children, is that they make the world a better place.

We are grateful to you, Murray Sinclair, for making our world a better place.

-Sister Margo Ritchie, Congregational Leader, CSJ

Image: Unsplash/Troy Olson @city2forest