Ego: Gentle Friend, Combative Foe

Not so long ago I stumbled upon two people feeling misunderstood about an issue that started innocently enough but ended in a road block. I quickly go drawn into the conversation. The resolution seemed fairly uncomplicated to my way of thinking; once both parties understood the needs and circumstances surrounding the issue they would gladly come on board.

What seemed uncomplicated and straightforward quickly became complex and divisive. I noticed that I was taking sides and had become angry and defensive.   Interior peace was replaced with indignation. Relationships became emotionally charged. Distance replaced easy companionship and my energy was dissipated.

What originally was a question now became a dispute, and my false self was in control. It was at this point that I stepped back, acknowledged my feelings which were firing on all cylinders, and were influencing other unrelated situations. I was not at peace.

My true self, my gentle and undivided self, began to exert itself. I took some deep breaths, sat quietly and listened to my heart. In this peaceful environment I faced myself, and my need to be right, became aware of the pain/distress I was causing others and a deep down desire for healing.

I quickly regained peace of heart and a longing to make amends with those I had hurt and distanced myself. At this point my true self, my ego, led me on a path of peace and reconciliation.

My question: when will I ever learn?

Ann Marshall CSJ