Love means an interior and spiritual identification with one’s brother so that he is not regarded as an “object” to “which” one “does good.”…Love takes one’s neighbor as one’s self… Love demands a complete inner transformation–for without this we cannot possibly come to identify ourselves with our brother. We have to become, in some sense, the person we love. And this involves a kind of death of our own being, our own self. No matter how hard we try, we resist this death.
Matthew Fox. A Way to God: Thomas Merton’s Creation Spirituality Journey, New World Publishing. p.227.