Richard Rohr in The Divine Dance asks this question, “Can you be present to this little bit of NOW?” I pondered this question for some time and found myself reflecting on the struggle to stay in the NOW simply because so many thoughts began to swirl in my head. This NOW with its struggles, confusion, questions, wonderings – this NOW with its accompanying certainties, peace and hope compels me to go deep within to listen and let the silence speak.
Living in the NOW is living a transformative, reflective life since we never know how the life of God’s Spirit will intervene and interrupt life. Probably the most powerful experience of this transformative energy happened when my friend, my sister died very suddenly at twenty-one, a time of her life which was so fruitful, enjoyable and carefree. Yet when illness struck her my NOW became a living nightmare as it was for my parents and siblings. Here is a young university student, brimming with life, enjoying her studies, her friends and family when a sudden illness snapped her out of her NOW to a place of mystery, confusion and darkness for her family. And, what about her! What was she knowing? Within three days, her NOW was so entirely different that one can only wrestle with inner turmoil and unanswered questions. Such mystery. When my mother in sheer desperation begged her to live, Nancy rose up, lifted the cover of the oxygen tent and in a very clear voice said, “Mom, I’m going to die, and I’m going to heaven.” I witnessed that NOW! And I will never forget Nancy’s conviction and our sorrow. Such finality. A new reality. An incomprehensible NOW.
So many have had similar frightening and confusing experiences because each day we live in longing expectation, engaging conversations, and activities that are holistic and nourishing. For most, that is the usual pace of life and when the Divine force changes our NOW dramatically, the trauma itself is life changing. We are never the same person. Our NOW is the call to step into the unknown in fear and trepidation or perhaps with excitement. There is no choice. Walk it, we must, and learn to adapt to becoming a new person in the new NOW. It is a journey of discovery and faith.
How would you describe a time of feeling empty? Ultimately living through your NOW – TODAY – is a solo journey in which faith can sustain you until the day you experience light in the darkness and realize you are alive again, in a new NOW which is full of promise. Let faith, friends and family sustain you.
Pat Hogan CSJ