A New Learning Curve

I couldn’t imagine how God would turn my life upside down – again.  Following several years of intense ministry which came to an end a couple of years ago, I listened in silence to see where the Spirit might be pointing my energies as I approached my seventies. Could I be tutoring young people? Might I volunteer at our hospitality centre? Should I again work with homeless women? Over time, the still small voice in my soul urged, “Be with your sisters; be with your friends experiencing dementia”.

My reply to the Spirit’s urging sent me to a new location among our sisters who model for me every day how to age and accept infirmity graciously as each stage of diminishment unfolds. Being with women struggling with dementia has plunged me headlong into a learning curve that is hollowing me out of my preconceived ideas of ageing, demanding me to grow in patience and causing me to live with many conflicting emotions.

We are blessed to live next door to the Alzheimer Society with their vast knowledge of dementia and related diseases. What joy I find in being part of their intergenerational choir where spirits soar as secondary school students, those living with Alzheimer disease and their caregivers sing their hearts out in our beautiful, acoustically marvelous chapel. Summer sing-along opportunities bring more gatherings and comradery. Seeing the nobility with which Alzheimer

patients bear their increasing memory loss and dependence on others is inspiring.  Witnessing the heroic efforts of spouses and partners to stay the course with their loved ones as long as possible brings me to tears. In addition, the generosity of the Alzheimer Society in offering free courses has enhanced my learning while the assistance of specialized mentors has given me new skills.

Although one might think that life among the aged is fraught with isolation, be assured that for me it is not. Each time our front door opens, the world enters with people from all walks of life who come to share the peace and tranquility that is the fruit of sisters who have spent their lives in the joy of the Gospel and service to the dear neighbor. Each night as I compose myself in silence, the still small voice in my heart reassures me, “Breathe and be here”.

Jean Moylan CSJ

I’ll Remember You …

While flipping through the T.V. channels on Sunday night, I was attracted to CNN which was airing a program from 2012 “Glenn Campbell – I’ll be me”.  For two hours I was caught up in his journey with Alzheimer’s.  He wanted to make people aware of this devastating disease. I could not help but call to mind some of our own Sisters and family members. Saying now, I understand why some Sisters are exhibiting behaviours so unlike the persons I have known. 

Glenn and his wife and children decided to perform a number of concerts across the United States. As the concerts progressed more and more characteristics of his Alzheimer’s surfaced. At first he could remember and sing many of his original songs like “Rhinestone Cowboy” and “By the time I get to Phoenix”. As his memory failed, he used a prompter and his daughter would sing along and accompany him on guitar. She would tell him “I’ll remember for you.”

Off stage they showed his times of frustration and anger, sometimes striking out physically. The family struggled to understand and cope. Kelly, Glenn’s wife, said, “A merry heart is good medicine.” At one point, Glenn said looking straight into the camera, “I’m still here but yet I’m gone.”

Once more, I’m into the present with a Sister friend of mine who will say “I have dementia, you know.” It breaks my heart that I can’t change the progress of this diminishing disease but I can’t walk away, although it is hard to see the physical, as well as, the 0mental price that it is taking on these Sisters.

Glenn also recognized the signs that he was slipping and with his daughter wrote and recorded a song about his future, one line was, “It never ends. Best of all I’m not going to miss you.” A very stark but true reality.

So let us share what we can, while we can – time is a vicious thief so we must make every opportunity to stall the progress of Alzheimer’s.

“I’ll remember you, will you remember me!”

Sr. Barbara Vaughan