Early Saturday mornings tend to be my ‘sacred space’ after a busy week at work. Recently, on a chilly Saturday morning, I cracked open a soft-boiled egg for breakfast. As I peeled back its shell and tough skin, poet Mary Oliver’s admonition, “make room to be astonished by the wonder of it all” surfaced in my mind. In order to ‘make room’ I consciously peeled back the thin skin of my egg, ‘astonished by the wonder of skin.’ Skin, you may ask? Yes, isn’t it amazing how everyday, ordinary things can be the gateway to the more sublime? But I digress.
While I ate the egg, I scrolled through my emails and chose to check out Henri Nouwen’s daily reflection. I was immediately drawn to its title, “Are You Home?” Well, yes, I thought, I am home. However, the question Nouwen posed asked something far deeper. He focused on one of society’s deep-seated ills – “worrying [which] means to be occupied and preoccupied with many things.” Nouwen went on to point out how, in our highly technological and competitive world, many of us are “all over the place” but seldom at home. He further reflected on how hard it is for many of us, “to avoid completely the forces that fill up our inner and outer space and disconnect us from our innermost selves, our fellow human beings, and our God.” Nouwen’s poignant closing sentence truly hit home (no pun intended), “One way to express the spiritual crisis of our time is to say that most of us have an address but cannot be found there.” (Henri Nouwen: Daily Meditation, January 26, 2019)
Home. Where is ‘home’ for us earth dwellers? There are many of us who feel like nomads on this earth. Do we have a place where we are rooted, a place we call home? A place where we feel at home? It seems to me both the question and the answer lie far deeper. Are we at home even in our own skin? Did you know that our skin is our body’s largest organ? It is our body’s coat. It protects us. It helps us stay warm when it’s cold and cool when it’s hot. Skin is tough and stretchy; perhaps that’s why we call some people thick-skinned. Our skin keeps all our insides in. It is our home. Then why do so many of us not feel comfortable or at home in our own skin? This may well have something to do with our outer appearance, though the real challenges usually are not merely ‘skin-deep’. How we feel in our own skin goes beyond our physical bodies, for true comfort with ourselves is a state of mind rather than what we look like. We only really become truly at home in our own skin when we accept ourselves, warts and all.
Might there be something else to aid us with this process of being comfortable in our own skin? Over the years I have discovered that there is another way to help me be more comfortable in my own skin, another way of ‘being home’. One of my all-time favourite scripture quotes is, “Make your home in me just as I do in you” (John 15:4). When we heed this invitation and make our home in Jesus, we will discover that the spiritual life is about becoming more at home in our own skin. I remember the day a friend told me how someone she loved deeply made her feel at home in her own skin, and that it was one of the greatest gifts anyone had ever given her. Being invited to make our home in God, and subsequently feeling more at ease with ourselves, is one of the greatest blessings we can receive.
Jesus himself knew about the importance of a connection to home, which led him to return to Nazareth from time to time. His invitation to us to make our home in him, reminds me of the first time I heard someone say, “I need God with skin on.” All of us at times have a need for God with skin on, that is, God who is physically real and touchable. Physicality is important in any relationship and especially in our most important relationships. In the hospital where I minister, for instance, I have witnessed the dramatic positive effects skin-to-skin contact, known as Kangaroo care, has on preemies and full-term babies.
Keeping this in mind, it makes me wonder if it is perhaps not too far fetched to think of Jesus as the ‘skin’ which holds us, the body of Christ, together. Let us be astonished by the wonder of this – that God’s embrace enfolds us all.
- Sr. Magdalena Vogt, cps