There is no map for the landscape of loss, no established itinerary, no cosmic checklist, where each item ticked off gets you closer to success. You cannot succeed in mourning your loved ones. You cannot fail. Nor is grief a malady like the flu. You will not get over it. You will only come to integrate your loss… The death of a beloved is an amputation. You find a new center of gravity, but the limb does not grow back.

Richard Rohr.