World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly

July 24 celebrates the role of grandparents and elderly persons in our world. I solicited the help of three grandmothers and one grandfather to learn more about their experiences as grandparents. What joys did they identify?  How did they, their children, and grandchildren benefit from these relationships? What burdens were involved in being a grandparent?  Did these grandparents have any recommendations or advice to offer first-time grandparents?  

Grandparents take great joy in their relationships with their grandchildren.  A few examples of their comments are:  

• “What a joy when a grandchild [infant] smiles and squeals with delight when they see you.”  

• “I love their phone call or texts to ask how I am or to seek advice.” 

• “It is wonderful to experience your children being parents; you see a new dimension in their personality.” 

• “Playdays and sleep-overs.  We made blanket forts, did dress-ups, had tea parties, and created and performed skits.  We taught them how to cook simple foods.” 

• “My heart is full when they run up to give a hug or hold my hand.” 

My consultants reported many benefits of their roles - for themselves, their children, and their grandchildren. Some of these were: 

• “Being able to pass on family traditions, history and wisdom to grandchildren,” 

• “An opportunity for an enriched life and for being needed as one retires and grows older.” 

• “Being around grandchildren who are thriving offers hope for the future, a lens to observe what is important to a younger generation, an opportunity to see human beings develop from helpless, dependent infants into competent, capable, and well-adjusted young adults.” 

• “Parents receive support of many kinds, such as trusted childcare, babysitting, sick child relief, financial help, and advice when difficulties arise. “ 

The wise grandparents who responded to my request also identified some burdens. For example:  

• One couple noted that when their children have ongoing health issues there exists instability and challenges for the grandchildren.  

• One grandmother stated: “I always worry when grandchildren demonstrate behaviours that are not very healthy”. 

• Another grandmother noted that at times the parents' demands seem excessive, e.g., full-time childcare, financial help, or other matters at a time when one grows older and has less energy.  

• Differing ideas and beliefs about children’s needs, rules, gifts, and routines within the imperative of respecting parents’ wishes can be a source of distress.  

• It is difficult to create bonds with grandchildren who live in other cities. 

And yet, despite difficulties and burdens, one grandmother commented: “The gift of grandchildren surpasses any negative experiences.  I always feel blessed to have them.” 

Some additional comments & advice from the Grandparents:

• Respect the parents’ wishes 

• Love your grandchildren 

• Model honest, open communication. Foster compassion and forgiveness in relationships.  

• Provide experiences to grandchildren in place of material gifts 

• Contribute to or open a Registered Educational Savings Plan (RESP) for the grandchildren.  These are lasting gifts!

• Fair and equal are not the same thing; some grandchildren or their parents may need more support than others.  

The heart-warming responses from grandparents illustrate their importance in our society.  We need to acknowledge their contributions to the health and welfare of our children.

May all of us, on July 24 - and all year, honour the grandparents and elderly people who pass on love and wisdom to the next generation.  

-Sister Patricia McKeon, csj

Gladwish: A Summer Soap Opera in Three Acts

Unbeknownst to me, a simple request while on holiday at Bright’s Grove with a couple of friends, began an epic journey. How difficult could it be to drive into Sarnia to pick up two boxes of soap bars? My friend Sister Mabel’s earlier attempt had proved unsuccessful. After consulting a city map, she and I soon discovered why she had not succeeded on her first attempt. Now, we confidently set out. Heavy summer showers should have been an omen that not all would be well. Despite the downpours, initially we made good progress. In the pouring rain, we found Gladwish Drive but had no luck finding the address. We consulted a helpful man at a mechanical services place and learned that Gladwish Drive consists of two unconnected sections. We were on the wrong section. So, once again the mission was aborted, and we decided to return home.

After more extensive research, we discovered the section of Gladwish Drive where we needed to go. Ever more confidently, we set out for the third attempt, determined to be successful this time. A veteran of Toronto how could the much smaller Sarnia outsmart me? Surely the gorgeous sunshine was a good omen for success. All went well, until, to my dismay, we turned onto a road under construction. Road Closed! Local traffic only! Not deterred by this sign we soldiered on. However, luck was not on our side. We drove as far as we were able but there was no sign of Gladwish Drive. Finding our destination continued to elude us.

As we were about to turn around, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a partly toppled road sign. You guessed it! Gladwish Drive! We had almost missed it. I had mistaken the little dirt road for the access to a business. Could this road lead us to success? Indeed, it did! However, though we found our destination, a note on the door of True North Distributors advised customers to pick up their order at the warehouse. Oh no, was my first reaction! Undeterred once again, we entered the office. There, on a low table, stood two boxes with Sister Mabel’s name on them! Mission accomplished! Finally, on this third attempt to pick up the soap bars for the homeless, this epic journey came to a successful end. The grand finale of the Gladwish Summer Soap Opera.

-Sister Magdalena Vogt, CPS and friends