Happy Friendship Day

World Friendship Day - JULY 30th

Some may say it was merely a coincidence. For me, it was more like a Godincidence. A couple of weeks ago, a dear friend asked if I might write a blog for the International Day of Friendship. Being my friend, I gladly agreed to do so. Today, July 22, is the Feast of Mary Magdalene, my patron saint, a fitting day to write about friendships. Among the cards I received for my name feast day, one stood out as it speaks about friendship.

“The friendship we share is a rare and remarkable thing. The easy, natural way we relate to each other means so much … it's what makes me comfortable just being myself. I believe that ours is one of those friendships too wonderful to have happened by chance. Common interests may have brought us together, but I know it was the grace of God that made us friends!”

It most certainly felt like more than a coincidence to be gifted with this card on the day I was about to write about friendship. A Godincidence. “The grace of God made us friends.”

““Whatever our souls are made of yours and mine are the same.” ”

— Emily Brontë

While I was thinking about friendship, I paged through John O’Donohue’s book, Anam Cara, Gaelic for Soul Mate. This reminded me of a beautiful quote Jeopardy host Alex Trebek shared in his book “The Answer is…”  To describe his relationship with his wife Jean, he mentions the quote from their favourite movie, Wuthering Heights: “Whatever our souls are made of yours and mine are the same.” Alex then describes his relationship with Jean with these words, “That’s the way I look at our relationship. We are one soul in two bodies.” Soul mates share enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust. Friendship is a lifeline. Connecting with like-minded people who genuinely care about one another is a gift from God. Indeed, “The most wonderful places to be in the world are in someone’s thoughts, someone’s prayers, and in someone’s heart.” (Helen Barry)

““The most wonderful places to be in the world are in someone’s thoughts, someone’s prayers, and in someone’s heart.” ”

— Helen Barry

I consider myself hugely blessed. I have amazing friends and soul mates. Nothing could replace what their friendship has meant and means to me. Their love, support, and care are invaluable treasures. I am blessed to have such dear friends who have known me for decades and we have shared both the light and shade of each other. Friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. In one of Richard Rohr’s recent daily meditations, he speaks of the dance of repair, a healing dance between friends. Anyone who is blessed with dear friends knows that without tolerance and mercy a friendship can die. As David Whyte puts it, friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendships support us and enrich our lives. Furthermore, according to science friendships can, among other things, slash our risk of mortality in half.

The Age of Innocence Credit: Marco Mancinelli

On this International Day of Friendship, connect with your friends and give thanks for the gift of friendships, especially those that survived hiatuses, silences, distances. They are the connections that never die.

-Sister Magdalena Vogt, cps | Guest Blogger

World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly

July 24 celebrates the role of grandparents and elderly persons in our world. I solicited the help of three grandmothers and one grandfather to learn more about their experiences as grandparents. What joys did they identify?  How did they, their children, and grandchildren benefit from these relationships? What burdens were involved in being a grandparent?  Did these grandparents have any recommendations or advice to offer first-time grandparents?  

Grandparents take great joy in their relationships with their grandchildren.  A few examples of their comments are:  

• “What a joy when a grandchild [infant] smiles and squeals with delight when they see you.”  

• “I love their phone call or texts to ask how I am or to seek advice.” 

• “It is wonderful to experience your children being parents; you see a new dimension in their personality.” 

• “Playdays and sleep-overs.  We made blanket forts, did dress-ups, had tea parties, and created and performed skits.  We taught them how to cook simple foods.” 

• “My heart is full when they run up to give a hug or hold my hand.” 

My consultants reported many benefits of their roles - for themselves, their children, and their grandchildren. Some of these were: 

• “Being able to pass on family traditions, history and wisdom to grandchildren,” 

• “An opportunity for an enriched life and for being needed as one retires and grows older.” 

• “Being around grandchildren who are thriving offers hope for the future, a lens to observe what is important to a younger generation, an opportunity to see human beings develop from helpless, dependent infants into competent, capable, and well-adjusted young adults.” 

• “Parents receive support of many kinds, such as trusted childcare, babysitting, sick child relief, financial help, and advice when difficulties arise. “ 

The wise grandparents who responded to my request also identified some burdens. For example:  

• One couple noted that when their children have ongoing health issues there exists instability and challenges for the grandchildren.  

• One grandmother stated: “I always worry when grandchildren demonstrate behaviours that are not very healthy”. 

• Another grandmother noted that at times the parents' demands seem excessive, e.g., full-time childcare, financial help, or other matters at a time when one grows older and has less energy.  

• Differing ideas and beliefs about children’s needs, rules, gifts, and routines within the imperative of respecting parents’ wishes can be a source of distress.  

• It is difficult to create bonds with grandchildren who live in other cities. 

And yet, despite difficulties and burdens, one grandmother commented: “The gift of grandchildren surpasses any negative experiences.  I always feel blessed to have them.” 

Some additional comments & advice from the Grandparents:

• Respect the parents’ wishes 

• Love your grandchildren 

• Model honest, open communication. Foster compassion and forgiveness in relationships.  

• Provide experiences to grandchildren in place of material gifts 

• Contribute to or open a Registered Educational Savings Plan (RESP) for the grandchildren.  These are lasting gifts!

• Fair and equal are not the same thing; some grandchildren or their parents may need more support than others.  

The heart-warming responses from grandparents illustrate their importance in our society.  We need to acknowledge their contributions to the health and welfare of our children.

May all of us, on July 24 - and all year, honour the grandparents and elderly people who pass on love and wisdom to the next generation.  

-Sister Patricia McKeon, csj

Gladwish: A Summer Soap Opera in Three Acts

Unbeknownst to me, a simple request while on holiday at Bright’s Grove with a couple of friends, began an epic journey. How difficult could it be to drive into Sarnia to pick up two boxes of soap bars? My friend Sister Mabel’s earlier attempt had proved unsuccessful. After consulting a city map, she and I soon discovered why she had not succeeded on her first attempt. Now, we confidently set out. Heavy summer showers should have been an omen that not all would be well. Despite the downpours, initially we made good progress. In the pouring rain, we found Gladwish Drive but had no luck finding the address. We consulted a helpful man at a mechanical services place and learned that Gladwish Drive consists of two unconnected sections. We were on the wrong section. So, once again the mission was aborted, and we decided to return home.

After more extensive research, we discovered the section of Gladwish Drive where we needed to go. Ever more confidently, we set out for the third attempt, determined to be successful this time. A veteran of Toronto how could the much smaller Sarnia outsmart me? Surely the gorgeous sunshine was a good omen for success. All went well, until, to my dismay, we turned onto a road under construction. Road Closed! Local traffic only! Not deterred by this sign we soldiered on. However, luck was not on our side. We drove as far as we were able but there was no sign of Gladwish Drive. Finding our destination continued to elude us.

As we were about to turn around, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a partly toppled road sign. You guessed it! Gladwish Drive! We had almost missed it. I had mistaken the little dirt road for the access to a business. Could this road lead us to success? Indeed, it did! However, though we found our destination, a note on the door of True North Distributors advised customers to pick up their order at the warehouse. Oh no, was my first reaction! Undeterred once again, we entered the office. There, on a low table, stood two boxes with Sister Mabel’s name on them! Mission accomplished! Finally, on this third attempt to pick up the soap bars for the homeless, this epic journey came to a successful end. The grand finale of the Gladwish Summer Soap Opera.

-Sister Magdalena Vogt, CPS and friends