Valentine Inspiration

How many song titles can you recall that include the word, LOVE?  Do you remember the old tunes, “Love Makes the World Go Round”, “Put a Little Love in Your Heart”, and even Taylor Swift’s “Love Story”? The list is endless.  In today’s world of upheaval, war, and strife more than ever we need a little love in our universe and hearts.

February 14th has arrived and Valentines Day along with it. As usual, the stores, media and online platforms are drenched with hearts and cupids juxtaposed with the horrendous aftermath of the latest bombings near and far.  Still, we who live in more peaceful climes try to carry on with life as usual despite food shortages, homelessness and growing personal debt.

As Valentine’s Day arrives, I picture men running to stores at the last-minute thinking of expensive roses and chocolates that few can afford today, to say nothing of costly gems and jewelry.  Meanwhile, we waste away on a media diet of guns and weapons.  We might well wonder, “Who was this obscure St. Valentine who creates an annual February love frenzy in the midst of seeming darkness”?  In fact, research explains that there were two men named Valentine who were martyred several years apart on February 14.  Google states, “St. Valentine of Rome was martyred in AD269. Two centuries later, on February 14, AD469 St. Valentine’s Day was established by Pope Gelesius, in honor of the Christian martyr”.

Throughout the intervening centuries, St. Valentines Day has continued to be celebrated as a special day honoring love and loved ones. Yes, roses, chocolates and fancy cards are fine, but the legend of St. Valentine about which I learned in elementary school, was a different story.  This Valentine was a humble priest who sometimes lamented that he was neither a revered monseigneur nor exalted bishop but a lowly pastor.  One day, as Valentine was sitting downcast, he heard a whisper, “Do the little things, Valentine, with great love”.  Valentine heeded God’s urging and became a generous, loving presence to his parishioners.

We too, can make St. Valentine’s Day more than the gifting of manufactured hearts and fresh roses. We can craft a card with heartfelt wishes or practice daily acts of love:  helping around home, visiting a shut-in, making a special phone call, cultivating a thankful heart, and sharing lots of hugs.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 -Sister Jean Moylan, CSJ

Image: Unsplash/Pawel Czerwinski

It's All About Love

As a child Valentine’s day was something to look forward to and prepare for; making Valentine cards for family and friends, getting sweets in the shape of hearts. On the other hand, Ash Wednesday was a day for fasting and prayer, reminders of our need for repentance and receiving the ashes to remind us we were mortal. I admit it was also fun to wear the ashes and have the kids at the neighbouring school wondering what we were up to. That these two feasts are happening on the same day this year raises the question of whether there is a gift available in their unusual coming together.

Image: Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema

Recently a dear friend passed away after a long, loving and faith-filled life. While reflecting on her life, the gift of these two feasts became abundantly clear.  It’s all about LOVE. Her life witnessed her love of family and friends faithfully, consistently, and delightfully with kindness, humour and quiet presence; Valentine love if you will. Her deep love of and gratitude to God were made obvious not just when she had ashes on her forehead but by her loving presence not only at church but in her community where she faithfully ministered. Thank you Rose.

As we begin our Lenten journey may we bring with us the gift of our growing awareness of what it means to BE LOVE personified.

-Maureen Condon, CSJ Associate

My Heart Is Moved

My earliest memory of Valentine's Day was hearing my mother tell me that my father did not do any shopping except for Valentine's day. “He had to make sure his children would have Valentines” she would remind us.   

Every year, I loved hearing that story. It spoke to me of my father’s love for us, and of a wife who also treasured this memory of her husband who had died much too young, leaving her a widow, with seven children.  My Irish mother had a wise way of basting that story like an egg, and it is forever etched in my memory and treasured in my heart.

In keeping with the theme of love and loss, I find myself reflecting on all the good-hearted health care workers in all parts of our world.  They have been kind and caring for critically ill, frightened, and dying patients with Covid 19. To this, there has been an outpouring of gratitude by the public, rippling through towns, cities, and the entire world. Witnessing the commitment of health care workers, we ourselves have been empowered to rise up, to give more. 

We shift into a deepened oneness with the suffering, the caregiver, the “dear neighbor” hence, consciously expand our circle of loving to include all people.

This Valentine Day I predict there will be more home-made Valentines. There will be more flowers given. This year I will remember the life-giving energy of significant people who currently touch my life, especially those people in the past who have loved me into life. They are etched in my soul. 

 - Sr. Patricia St. Louis csj         

Do the Little Things With Love

Valentine’s Day is February 14^th.  We know the 14th is a special day.  However, do we know its origins in St. Valentine?  Was there really such a person?  Where did he live?  Why do we remember him?

During my elementary years, every February our little one-room school walls were splashed with bright red valentines and cupids of all shapes and sizes. Amidst our lively Valentine exchange, our teacher would take her place at the front of the class and speak to us about St. Valentine.  Here’s what I remember.  Although not a lot is known about his life, Valentine was a third century Christian bishop, martyred by the Roman Emperor Claudius in 273 CE.   Among other charges against him, he ministered to persecuted Christians and was said to have married secretly Christian couples who were being persecuted.  People didn’t forget his many acts of kindness. From about the 14^th century, Valentine’s Day came to be celebrated as a day of romance.  As years passed, Valentine became known as the patron saint of lovers, couples, epileptics and beekeepers.

There are legends about St. Valentine; one legendary account inspired me.  Once, Valentine was feeling sad about his inability to do great things to help others.  As he was praying over this, he heard a voice inside him, “Valentine, do the little things with love”.  These words impressed him deeply and influenced his life. Hearing those transformative words moved me too.  

Throughout my life, when I watch others performing deeds of valor and achieving accolades and consider my five loaves and three fish alongside their great catch, I hear St. Valentine’s encouraging voice, urging me, “Do the little things with great love”.  Such actions can touch hurting hearts and impact our little world.

On Valentine’s Day, beneath all the hearts, chocolates and expensive jewelry that few can afford, isn’t it wonderful to be reminded to do little things with great love?  Therefore, a simple card or a bouquet of flowers and a sincerely spoken, “I love you”, to our dear ones young and old, are powerful gestures of love.  In fact, such kindness is the only thing that matters – and don’t forget the kiss!

-Sister Jean Moylan, csj

This, Too, Was a Gift

The legacy of the late beloved poet, Mary Oliver, was her rare and amazing ability to turn our usual thought patterns inside out and upside down.  As boxes of chocolates fly off the shelves for Valentine’s Day, a friend gave me one of Oliver’s modicums of wisdom.

 The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me

a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand

That this, too, was a gift.

Imagine someone you love, gives you a box of darkness instead of delicious chocolates for Valentine’s.  What would you make of such a gift?  Would you welcome it?  While I was reflecting on this poem, I happened to stumble upon Nelson Fernandez’s blog ‘A box of Darkness’.  Reflecting on Oliver’s poem, ‘The Uses of Sorrow’, he relates it to the testimony of someone who discovered how precious all of life is when he found his box full of darkness.  He writes:

I recently came across a comment from an individual who reported having Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). He concluded that although the resulting PTSD stuck with him for at least 4 years, the accident instantly made him decide to never waste the gift of life, so, he got both Post-Traumatic Stress and Post-Traumatic Growth. That accident became a defining moment for him.

This coined phrase, Post-Traumatic Growth, succinctly reinforces the gift of growth in darkness which is at the heart of Mary Oliver’s poem.  In reflecting upon my life, I too can attest to what I have discovered tucked into my own experiences of darkness. Within them, I grasped a deeper awareness of my own resilience, a greater sense of myself and even a deeper empathy for others. Usually, with time, the darkness of pain fades, but wisdom remains. Let me conclude with a quote by one of my favourite authors, Joyce Rupp. In her book Little Pieces of Light, she prays the following with a grateful heart: “Yes, I thank you for my darkness, (the unwanted companion I shun and avoid) because this pushy intruder comes with truth and reveals my hidden treasures to me.”

I hope someone gives you a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day.  However, one day someone may also bless you with the gift of a box of darkness. What gift of sweetness might you discover in such a gift?

 - Nancy Wales, csj