Hooked!

I could say I am hooked on crocheting during this latter part of the pandemic. It is incredible what a ball of yarn and a crochet hook can do for you.  Did you know research found knitting and crocheting lowers heart rate and blood pressure? Besides many other benefits, it also calms anxiety.  Perfect during this long pandemic, for what could make any of us more anxious than this pandemic with its numerous unfathomable unknowns. Studies also show that people in my age range and up who are “knitters and crocheters have the healthiest brains and memories.” (https://littlethings.com/lifestyle)  

Besides the mental and psychological benefits of crocheting, there are also physical ones, such as improved hand-eye dexterity and coordination.  It is not surprising, then, that crocheting has been popular for a long time.  For one thing, it is portable, as all you need are a simple hook and yarn. I would say, let us keep knitting or crocheting and if you do not know how, this just may be the perfect time to learn these skills.

Frontline 'hero bear’

Perhaps you are wondering what causes me to write about a hook and yarn in this reflection. Trust me, I am not about to spin a yarn, but here is my tale. While crocheting a baby blanket recently, I began to cogitate about how this pandemic continues to impact our lives in so many ways. While looking at the crochet hook in my hand, and the yarn wrapped around my fingers, it struck me what a great symbol a hook and yarn are for what we are busy doing right now during this pandemic - shaping a new reality.

Life tends to be bittersweet much of the time. I dare say, this pandemic is no different. When planet earth hooked the Covid-19 virus, we were thrust into this global catastrophe. For many, this pandemic has been a devastating experience.  Yet, if we take a moment to cast a backward glance over these past fourteen months, we may just be amazed to also discover many blessings.  We all know about the many tragedies and how much in our world has changed during this pandemic. It has not only changed our lives, it has changed us, or as author Charlie Mackesy puts it, "Isn't it odd, we can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside.”

Yes, so much of what has happened has impacted and changed our innermost being. You may have come upon the saying doing the rounds on social media, “There are 4 ways you can come out this pandemic. A chunk, a drunk, a monk, or a hunk.” There is undoubtedly some truth to this, which brings me back to the hook. In response to the stress of the pandemic, what may have happened on our insides that got us hooked on things on the outside?  Are we now hooked on something lifegiving, like crocheting for example? Or are we hooked on something destructive, causing us to flounder or even to fall for it, hook, line, and sinker? Getting unhooked from any destructive habits, whatever they may be, is never easy.  However, getting unhooked from such habits triggered by the pandemic is a step in the right direction to reclaim our happiness and freedom, especially now that there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

In crocheting a hook is used to interlock loops of yarn.  Not all hooks or yarns are created equal; neither are we. Our individual life threads are unique ‘yarns’ and we each have unique hooks (talents) to interlock the threads of our present reality into a new, life-giving reality. What has been unveiled during this pandemic, is that we really are one, and not merely one in a virtual reality. We need each other to shape the new reality we all long for.

To create such a reality, we all need to discover anew our own hook, our own gifts.  Even if it is just one hook, let us use it for the good of all, for the future of all of us.  In her delightful children’s book, The Invisible String, Patrice Karst writes about people being connected by love over long distances by an ‘invisible string.’ If this pandemic has taught us nothing else, it has shown us how our invisible, individual life threads are hooked and interlocked with the threads of everyone else throughout the entire world. Even more importantly, let us remember, we are interlocked by a life-giving ‘invisible string’ with God, gracing us with all we need to shape our new reality. 

“we are interlocked by a life-giving ‘invisible string’ with God, gracing us with all we need to shape our new reality. ”

Blessed and strengthened by this grace, and relying on each other’s goodwill, we can shape a new future, a life-giving reality. I dare say if we are hooked on hope - we can do it, together.

-Sister Magdalena Vogt, cps 

Small Things, Great Outcomes in a Time of Pandemic

The renowned Dutch artist, Vincent Van Gogh, claimed that “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” This week we were reminded of that truth on hearing of the death of Captain Sir Tom Moore whose image leapt onto the “global stage” and into the hearts of the world, as with his “walker”, he did laps of his garden at his home in England. Perhaps the person most surprised by his sudden fame was Captain Moore himself! With a challenge set by his family, Captain Moore took to walking 100 laps of his garden before his 100th birthday in order to try to raise 1000.00 pounds sterling to support front-line care workers in the National Health System during the challenging days of the pandemic. In the event, by his centenary celebrations, Captain Moore raised an astounding 32 million pounds for the cause contributed by people around the globe. Before beginning his venture Captain Moore had said, “one small soul like me won’t make much difference.” How wrong he was. The difference he made was phenomenal and not simply in terms of the monetary outcome but perhaps most of all by the witness he was to all of us of the reality that small things truly matter.

How many of us, I wonder, have asked a question similar to that expressed by Captain Moore, “What can I do – I can’t make any difference in these challenging Covid days?” We may feel overwhelmed in these times, sure that we have little to offer in the context of so many restrictions, fears and uncertainties. Yet, perhaps one of the greatest contributions we can make is to embrace the small things of life and let them challenge us to move beyond despair and apathy to reach out to others and, in turn, to be freed of inertia and personal despondency. We can make a difference.

St. Thérèse de Lisieux

Of course, Captain Moore is a contemporary example of what has been understood spiritually throughout the centuries. Possibly, one of the most well-known advocates of the promise of small things was St. Thérèse de Lisieux, the nineteenth-century Carmelite nun, who within the confines of a cloistered religious community in France, came to the realization that in the end what truly matters is doing the small things well.  Thérèse’s impact on the world beyond her physical boundaries was and continues to be, immense. Hers was a commitment to the chores and to the people we encounter in the humdrum moments of our lives. She reminded us that “nothing is small in the eyes of God” and she admonished us to “do all that you do with love.” Similarly, this idea is found in many great spiritual traditions. American Rabbi, Berel Wein, for example, points out that, “in truth, it is the small things that define us.” The Torah, he says, is seemingly pre-occupied with the small things in life and he concludes that “great ideas are only communicated through small things, everyday behaviours, the mitzvoth of life.” Only through fidelity to small acts does the great become realized.” Likewise, in the Islamic tradition, it’s said that the prophet Mohammad claimed that the deeds most pleasing to God are the regular constant deeds even though they may be very small. One also senses that in the mindfulness of the Buddhist tradition is the reverence for the small things of life. Regardless of one’s values or faith, fidelity to the small things becomes the means of sharing love, care, and positive energy not only in our local spaces but beyond into our communities and the world and we may never know the impact.

“nothing is small in the eyes of God”

The small things matter and perhaps especially so in the place in which we find ourselves today. This time of pandemic is a time when perhaps all people, no matter how strong, are struggling. Some with feelings of despondency, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, a sense of inadequacy, mental health challenges, sickness and grief. In this context, small things truly matter. At a personal level committing to the regularities of daily living keeps us engaged and balanced, lifted up. Even if we are feeling overwhelmed and unable to do anything, the reality is we can! A friend of mine, a psychiatric nurse, the late Sister Angela Cooling, OSA, once said to me very wisely, “always remember there is nothing about which something can’t be done”! What are some small  “somethings” we might consider in this time?

We can always undertake acts of kindness, affirmation, and patience in our homes and communities. Beyond our homes, these ‘’acts” might be practised through a phone call, a card or letter, a zoom call. Perhaps those of us who are able to do grocery shopping can think of helping another who is unable to do so or maybe we can purchase a small treat to deliver to another person. At the beginning of the pandemic, I read of two inspirational high school students, “regular boys” who on seeing an elderly man struggling at a supermarket, spent all their own money on buying paper bags and small items they thought older people may appreciate and then with great care in terms of infection prevention, delivered these gifts around their neighbourhood. The joy they brought to many is incalculable.

What about forming an on-line group of those who are willing to write notes to residents of long term care facilities or jails or notes of affirmation and gratitude for front-line workers? We might gather our communities together on-line to share the reading of a book to lift spirits and for personal growth or to share together conversation involving those who may not normally be in our circle or who cannot reach out for help and community. Other groups might take up necessary advocacy these days. Perhaps, like Captain Moore, we can think of a small way to raise funds to help others. Like his, our small acts can have great outcomes. Significantly, we can always pray for healing and hope together online or personally. Using our creativity there are multitudes of possibilities for those small things we can still do until the “clouds of our day” lift. Small things matter. Together let’s embrace them with love and let’s share them to accelerate the heartbeat of care in our world today. With Mother (St.) Teresa of Calcutta may we know that “There are no great things, only small things done with great love.”

-Sister Mary Rowell, CSJ

All Sorts out of Sorts

Synchronicity fascinates me. Recently, one of my friends was gripped by a sense of malaise. I am sure you agree with me that this is something many of us experience off and on in varying degrees during these protracted weeks and months of the pandemic.  While my friend and I were chatting about the overall impact the pandemic has on our psyche and spirits, she chuckled and said, “All sorts feel out of sorts.”  Well, and then she suggested I’d write a reflection about all sorts being out of sorts, a delightful play on the licorice brand name Allsorts. I laughed and suggested she write about being out of sorts since she had just had a taste of it. Herein lies the synchronicity, shortly after our conversation I had my own taste of feeling out of sorts. 

Probably none of us needs to turn to a dictionary to learn what it means to be out of sorts, still, I did. According to the Collins Dictionary when you are in that state, “you feel slightly unwell, upset, or annoyed.” It has been my experience that it is all these feelings mixed together.  Feeling out of sorts is all sorts of feelings layered on top of each other just like some of those Allsorts liquorice pieces.

In his book, Molloy, Samuel Beckett has his protagonist express feeling out of sorts like this, “I was out of sorts.  They are deep, my sorts, a deep ditch, and I am not often out of them.” Phrasing the state of being out of sorts like that sounds like the crème de la crème expression about what many of us experience these days. During these dark days, an unsettling mood can easily invade us. It is not unusual that we can find ourselves in a depressed mood during this pandemic without knowing exactly where it comes from and the degree of such moods can vary from person to person, from situation to situation. How deep are the ditches of some of your pandemic induced ‘sorts’?

““I am offering you life or death . . . Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19)”

When we have the courage, the gumption, one step at a time, to extricate ourselves from those dark moods, we choose to live instead of remaining in the dark ditch. The longer we remain in the ditch, the harder it tends to be to get out of it. No, it is not easy.  No, it is not instant. By relying on our life experience, on support from those we trust, and the grace of God we can learn bit by bit how to extricate ourselves ever more easily from our ‘deep sorts [that] deep ditch.’ Over the years, I have often held onto these words of Scripture, “I am offering you life or death . . . Choose life. (Deuteronomy 30:19). Perhaps you also have a Scripture quote or a mantra that helps you, offering you a lifeline when you are out of sorts, in one of those dark moods.

Henri Nouwen, a man who had his struggles with being out of sorts, believed, “One aspect of choosing life is choosing joy. Joy is life-giving but sadness brings death. A sad heart is a heart in which something is dying. A joyful heart is a heart in which something new is being born.” (You Are the Beloved: Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living)

During this pandemic, when so many people are experiencing such terrible, devastating suffering you can be forgiven for thinking it is absurd for me to try to suggest we find joy while we are out of sorts, in a dark mood.  True enough.  Yet, we always do have a choice.  Leaning on each other, I find so often is the only way forward. Supporting one another, encouraging one other, finding strength in each other, holding each other in prayer are some of the best ways forward during this pandemic. Pope Francis expresses this stance, such solidarity in these words, “The Covid-19 pandemic has revealed that all of us, fragile and disoriented, are in the same boat. All of us are called to row together [since] no one reaches salvation by themselves.” (Vatican News: World Day of Peace Message, Oct. 20, 2020)

To strengthen us, especially during our darkest days, God promised to, “give us a new heart and put a new spirit in us.” (Ezekiel 36:26) Even when we are out of sorts during this pandemic, may we trust, with the grace of perseverance, to live in the hope of better days to come. We do have a choice. We can choose life and joy rather than feel like victims of being out of sorts.

-Sister Magdalena Vogt, cps

Neighbours on Downie Street

From my second-floor window – at 7:30 a.m. each day I watch a young mother, a teacher, wheel her 2-year-old twin daughters down the steps and get them settled in their van.  This daily routine also includes her interaction with a middle-aged man from our neighborhood.  His name is Kelly and he is a regular visitor sharing his news early in the morning in a rather loud tone – which could be about his dog or what his plans are for the day.  The mom, while getting her children settled takes time to listen to Kelly and offers encouraging words to him as he retells (a couple of times over) the story about his dog and what his plans are for the day. 

Kelly approaches the window of the van and offers a wave and blows kisses to the children and then crosses the street and returns to his own home, giving this mother some positive affirmations as she heads to her classroom for another day.

With this pandemic and my own inability to volunteer with the marginalized, I think I have received a gift that is happening right outside my window every morning.  I feel that I am participating in this exchange between these neighbors – as I witness the respect for one another, and kindness being given freely to Kelly – who represents many in our society today who are not treated with respect or dignity.

I am realizing that being present can happen in many different ways…

-Sister Ann MacDonald, csj

Praying during the Pandemic

I knew, eventually, I could no longer ignore that persistent little voice within urging me to write a blog about praying. I do not mean writing about praying per se, but about praying during this pandemic. Don’t worry, I am not about to write a dissertation or manual about prayer. People much better equipped than I am have literally written millions of books about prayer.  In my small eclectic collection of prayer books and books about prayer, you can find the writings of Joyce Rupp, Thomas Merton, Margaret Silf, Anne Lamott, Anthony Bloom, Nan Merrill, and others.  I also have a copy of the impressive anthology, Prayers for a Thousand Years.

During my forty-plus years as a Missionary Sister, I have done a fair amount of praying.  Yes, there is a time for everything. There is a time for “doing praying” as we do in formal communal prayer.  People gather and pray in groups in a vast array of different ways. Think of the Sufi Whirling Dervishes who whirl in communal prayer, on the one hand, and the sedate prayer form practiced by those who prefer the Taizé form of prayer or the contemplative prayer of women and men in religious communities, in small groups, and by individuals around the world.

“prayer is not a contest but, “a doorway … into thanks and a silence in which another voice may speak.””

Mostly, we tend to use words when we pray, and therein lies the rub.  I should think all of us have experienced how easily words can be misunderstood.  However, I would think we have also experienced how loudly and clearly silence can speak.  In her poem Praying, the wonderful poet Mary Oliver concludes that when we pray there is no need for elaborate words.  For her, prayer is simply patching a few words together since prayer is not a contest but, “a doorway … into thanks and a silence in which another voice may speak.”

Some might say this is an oversimplification of prayer.  I, however, have come to view her description of prayer as a wonderful invitation to pause and pray as we are, where we are.  It confirms what I discovered long ago; prayer is more listening than speaking with God. While musing and praying during these pandemic times of quarantines and lockdown, I have often thought how apt these words by C. S. Lewis are, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  I would say during this pandemic God is doing a great deal of shouting, a shouting which seems to fall on deaf ears, unless we spend time in “a silence in which another voice may speak.”  God shouting during these days of the pandemic may not only threaten to burst our eardrums; for many this pandemic is more a space to doubt God or prayer.  When we do listen, underneath the “shouts in our pains”, and easily missed, we will hear that small, still voice reaching into our hearts. It is only when we pause in silence and listen attentively, and not turn a deaf ear, that we may hear what God is really saying to us during this graced time of enormous global and personal upheaval.

““God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” - C. S. Lewis”

None of us is immune to the impact of this dreadful pandemic nor remains untouched by it in every aspect of our lives.  It most certainly has touched and transformed the way I have communed with God during these past six months. Yes, at times these weeks and months have been incredibly challenging, however they have also been surprisingly graced.  In her book on prayer, “Help, Thanks,Wow” Anne Lamott offers us her insight into grace, “I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” Indeed, so true.  Whether I sit silently on my balcony bathed in the early morning light or in the glow of a candle at the end of the day, these intimate moments of mostly silent communing with God, these times of prayer are a great source of comfort and strength.  Here, grace has met me and has not left me where I was.

- Sr. Magdalena Vogt, CPS

Praying

It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Mary Oliver, Thirst, Beacon Press 2006